I say this with every birth and every pregnancy, “ Why don’t they show the flipside of giving birth and pregnancy?”  When you watch TV or movies, they show a beautiful barefoot and pregnant mommy-to-be in a flowing dress, cooking up some organic meal next to an ocean front. Or a glowing mother being rushed to the hospital, only to be followed with a scene of her holding onto a perfect beautiful baby, smiling from cheek to cheek, as if she just came out of a spa. I do agree that pregnancy and birth are so beautiful and one of the most sacrad moments in one’s life.  However, there is also that side of pain, recovery, and hormonal ups and downs.

I remember with my first birth, I was so focused on how painful the birthing process would be, I never knew that there was a period of recovery. I thought that after I endured the many endless hours of labor and delivery, and had the baby in my arms, it would be cupcakes and lollipops from that moment forward. Boy, was I wrong.  I remember the recovery period was more painful than giving birth.  I had gone through a tear, bled endlessly, and on top of it, breastfeeding was not as easy as I would have expected. Needless to say, I didn’t feel like I was experiencing all the ”Kodak Moments,” life had to offer.

I think our culture as a whole, stray away from “the other side.”  I know growing up, my mom talked about how long she was in labor with us, but she never talked about how long it took for her to recover from the whole birthing process.  Like myself, I think a lot of new moms think that pain ends with birth. That is simply not the reality, and I feel, lead most women to Post Partum Depression or the “baby blues.”  We are not taught about the loneliness, the frustration, the pain from the uterus contracting back to normal, the bleeding, and the nipple soreness.  It’s like you had time to build your army during your pregnancy and get all the support that you could get, and then you go to battle (birth) and you win.  Then you look around to see that all your soldiers are gone.  You are left to pick up the pieces in a foreign land.  I personally think there should be classes for mothers and fathers about post birth, so that everyone is educated and can prepare for it.  I think the biggest shock is not knowing and being thrown into it.  Just like labor and delivery, if we know what we are in for, even if other things may arise, we have time to emotionally and physically prepare for the task at hand.

So my proposal is a movie about everything that happens after a mother gives birth.  The challenges, the triumphs, the bonding, the crying, and everything in between.  I think a comedy would be a nice touch to a serious subject matter and the dynamics between characters, such as mom and dad, would be very interesting to see.  So come on down and invest in my film.  I can’t guarantee millions, but what I can promise is a personal journey, the ups and downs, the laughter and sadness, and ultimately reality.

Pregnancy is something so special and is definitely a different special experience for every individual.  During this pregnancy, I was able to take in the moment to moment events and feelings.  Towards the end of the pregnancy, I dealt with sciatica and what could be a herniated disc, so it definitely challenged me in many ways.  Walking around with a cane was not easy and having a to take care of the needs of a toddler, was not easy at all.  I went through an emotional rollercoaster because at the end of the day, I’m only human.  In the midst of everything, I am proud that I stayed positive and tried to take it in strides.

So finally I went to Labor & Delivery on July 23rd, 2009 to check on what I thought was a break in my amniotic sac.  It was also my due date and I did not think I was going to go into labor.  I was also very hesitant in going in to Labor & Delivery because I had already been there about 6 times, for false alarms, and did not want to be labeled the “false alarm” girl.  Of course, it’s always better to be safer than sorry.  So drumroll…I would like to share with you my birthing story.

July 23rd, 2009

• 1:45am:  I was awaken in the middle of the night with severe cramps where I could not breathe.  I could not move nor talk.  The contractions came every 30 minutes throughout the night.
• 5:00am:  The contractions came every 20 minutes. I thought that maybe I was finally in early labor.
• 9:00 am: The contractions came every 15 minutes. The contractions were getting closer and I told my husband that maybe he should not go to work because if he does, maybe he would miss the birth.
• 11:00 am: Contractions come every 10 minutes.  The last time I was at L&D my midwife told me to come into the hospital when the contractions were 10 minutes apart because I was already dilated to 3cm.
• 11:30am: I call my midwife to see what I should do.
• 12:00pm: The contractions are now 20 minutes to 30 minutes apart. I am thinking that they are braxton hicks contractions because they become irregular.
• 1:00pm: Still no call back from my midwife.
• 1:30pm: I have something leak down the side of the leg and instantly think it’s my amniotic fluid.  I finally get to talk to my midwife and she tells me to come in so that we could check on it.
• 2:00pm: My husband and I get ready to leave the house to go to L&D which is 5 minutes away.
• 2:30pm: We stop by Trader Joe’s to get snacks and water, so that we have something while we wait at L&D.
• 3:00pm: We walk over to a Pasta Cafe next door and grab a bite to eat because my husband is extremely hungry.
• 4:30pm: We finally arrive at L&D.  They don’t have any free rooms, so we are sent to the waiting room to wait.
• 5:00pm: They come to get us. My midwife checks me and tells me it’s not amniotic fluid, however, I am dilated to 5cm, and wants to know if I want to be admitted now or later.  I asked to be admitted.
• 6:00pm: I walk the L&D corridors to get the contractions going. I have to go back 30 minutes later.
• 6:30pm: I am monitored.
• 7:00pm: My midwife comes to check on me. I am now 7cm dilated and the midwife and nurse are amazed.
• 7:15pm: I am sent to walk again for another 30 minutes.
• 7:45pm: The nurse puts me on the monitor again.
• 8:15pm: The midwife comes to check on me again.  I am now 9 cm dilated and they are surprised again how fast everything is moving.
• 8:30pm: The nurse prepares everything for the actual birth.  I am at this point in significant amount of pain. No drugs, no nothing. Just a lot of pain, plus my added back pain.
• 9:00pm: My midwife comes back to check on me, but I am still at 9cm, but a very good 9cm.
• 9:15pm: We talk about positions I can be in to deliver because I cannot lay down to deliver since my major back pain.  We try putting in the birthing pole, but I can’t do that either because of the back pain.  Finally the nurse brings in the birthing stool.
• 9:25pm: I am told that I am 10cm and to push with the next contraction.
• 9:29pm: With one push, Ella Hanul was born! She cried so hard and so loud.
• 9:30pm: They gave her to me with her umbilical cord still intact and then was handed to my husband.  I lost all the energy that I had and was close to passing out.

After that, I had to deliver the placenta, which was not pleasant and very painful.  I lost a lot of blood during the whole process, which was the scariest part.  About an hour after the birth, I was being escorted to the washroom and lost consciousness and hit my head on the hard hospital floor.  All I remember was my husband and the nurse picking me up.  I could hear the nurse calling on nurses for an emergency backup.  I ended up with a huge bump on my head and lips.  The next day they did blood work and my hemoglobin level was at a 8, the normal level is 12-13, and I would require a transfusion if it went down to 7, so it was a close call. Now I am home recovering.  It surely was a journey I will never forget and just staring at Ella makes everything worth it.

Hi everyone!  I finally delivered my baby girl Ella Hanul.  She came on her due date.  I delivered without any drugs.  Right now, I am going through a brutal recovery process because I lost so much blood.  Once I come back to my normal physical state, I will post more in detail.  Thank you for your continued support and can’t wait to share with you my birthing story!

Today is my due date July 23rd, 2009.  I didn’t think I would make it this far and here I am.  I have been reading endless message boards with lots of women who have met their due dates or are 2 weeks overdue.  I was starting to think that this baby would never want to come out.  Yesterday,  I woke up in the morning and had bloody show.  If it was about 4 weeks ago, I probably would have been on high alert and worried.  However, being that my due date was the next day, I started to get excited because it’s usually a sign that labor will happen soon.  Still being a little reserved, I didn’t get my hopes up because this pregnancy has been anything but textbook.

I focused on my daughter the entire day because she is fighting her UTI (urinary tract infection) and on top of it, a virus.  The poor thing has been going through a lot this past week.  Throughout the day, I had bloody show.  I didn’t have any contractions, so I thought it was another sign that labor would not happen for another couple days or maybe even weeks.

At 1 am, I was awakened by major pelvic pain that went on for about a minute.  I could hardly breath and it was excruciating pain.  At that point, I did think that something was starting to change, but I made myself go to bed.  The first contraction was followed by another one, 30 minutes later.  The contractions then started to get closer and stronger.  It’s 12:37 pm right now and my contractions are about 10 minutes apart.  The last time I went into L & D, my midwife told me to come in when the contractions were 10 minutes apart because I had already been dilated a good 3 cm.

My husband didn’t go to work, but he keeps asking me if my contractions are real or fake.  Common? Are you serious?  First, I don’t think I would have the capability to fake such a contraction, unless I was trying to act out a character in a movie.  Anyhow, I gave him a piece of my mind, and I think he knows I mean business.  Right now, it’s a waiting game.  Let’s see if today is the day!

My weekend was mostly spent at home resting as well as trips to Labor & Delivery. On Saturday, it seemed as though my water broke, but I wasn’t one hundred percent because it was more like a leakage rather than a gush. With my first, I definitely knew my water broke because it was a super gush, like a huge waterfall.

On Saturday, everytime I stood up from using the restroom, I would have a leakage. I wasn’t sure if it was urine or if it was amniotic fluid. I monitored it for an hour and it kept consistently happening, so I decided to call my midwife. I called and waited for about another hour and did not hear back. So i decided to go into L & D to make sure everything was fine and it was not a ruptured sac.

I went in that evening and they did a test on me. The strip test came out to be positive, but the other two tests came out negative. They said in order for it be a positive that my sac ruptured was if 2 out of the 3 tests came out positive. I only had one positive, which meant it was negative. They did an ultrasound on me to see the fluid level. The first time around, it came out 7, which is borderline low, and the second time it came out 9, which is really good. They had me walk around for about 15 minutes with a pad, to test the leakage on the pad. After that was done, they sent me back home and told me to come back within 24 hours.

Today, which is Sunday, we went back to L & D to check on fluid level, as well as do another test to make sure there was no amniotic leakage. The fluid level was at a nine, and the test came out negative. So everything checked out fine. I am super relieved and expect to deliver soon. I just hope that I don’t have to go back to L & D until I actually deliver . They say that this Tuesday is a full moon, so I guess we will see!

I woke up at 2:09 am this morning with menstrual-like aches. I dismissed it and went and refilled my water bottle to drink more water. I laid back down on the bed and changed positions. The feeling did not go away. Around 3:40 am, those menstrual-like aches were then followed by this surge of energy that went through my body, and then I would feel weak, nauseous, and short of breath. It felt like an onset of a flu. The odd thing is that they came in intervals like contractions, every 5-6 minutes. But the feelings that I were feeling were not at all contractions, just major discomfort.

I went and laid back down at 4:05 am and nothing went away. After that, I just got paranoid, and started laying to the side to see if I could feel the baby moving. I counted how many times the baby moved, and if the baby only moved a little, I got a little freaked out. I tried changing positions, drinking more water, going to the bathroom, checking to see if I leaked amniotic fluid, and everything and anything I could think of. I woke up at 6:01 am and went online and googled all sorts of labor tags and came across other mothers who went through this when they were in labor, as well as false labor.

After my false alarm last week, I just wanted to make sure I had all the grounds covered before I went rushing to L & D or made a call to my midwife on call. Right now, I feel nauseous and completely drained, like the wind was blown out of me. This pregnancy is so different from my first, I don’t know what to expect anymore. I just made a call to the midwife and am now anxiously waiting for her to call back.

Friday around 3:35pm: Got a severe cramp in the lower abdomen to which I could make no movement. I was stuck in one position that I could not get out of. The pain was so severe, I could not breath and could hardly talk on the phone with my friend. I called my husband to tell him that I was in a lot of pain, and thought he should come home from work. I then called my midwife and without hesitation she told me to call 911. So I called 911.

Friday at 3:50pm: Ambulance arrives and they put me on a stretcher. I am still having major abdominal issues and contractions. The paramedics ask me a whole bunch of questions and they check me to make sure the baby’s head is not crowning.

Friday at 4:10pm: We arrive at UCLA Medical Center and they take me up to Labor & Delivery. The staff at Labor & Delivery and my midwife are waiting for me to make my arrival. They take me to the delivery room, and put two belts on me. One belt is for the baby’s heartbeat, and the other belt is for my contractions. The baby is healthy and my contractions are crazy. You could literally see on the monitor that I was having constant strong contractions. Then the midwife checked to see my cervix and it was only at 2cm. Because my contractions were crazy, they made me do a UTI test, take a urine sample, and they checked me on the ultrasound. All the results came back negative. They checked me again before they were going to discharge me, and I was still at a 2 cm, but my contractions did not subside. They gave me a dose of vicodin after I ate dinner. The midwife came back to check on me again, and the cervix stayed the same, but there was bloody show. She told me to come back if I constantly bled.

Around 10:30pm: I was discharged and went back home. The contractions subsided and I went to bed. Everytime I woke up to use the restroom, I checked to see if there was bloody show and there was everytime, so I told my husband that we should go back to be safe.

Saturday 5am: We went back to Labor & Delivery. I told my midwife about the bloody show and a resident came in to check me. She checked my cervix and I was a good 3cm at 50% effaced. She also checked the baby on the ultrasound and everything checked out good, except one pocket of fluid was low. They sent me back home and said to come back on Sunday to get a Non-Stress Test done.

Sunday 9am: Back at Labor & Delivery for NST Test. Everything checked out fine. The fluid was a little low, but they said everything was okay and to go back to my regular midwife visit on Tuesday.

Today: Midwife appointment.

Two more days until 37 weeks, which makes me full term. Hang in there baby!!!

For my first pregnancy, I never took a hospital tour nor did I take a labor class. When people would ask me questions about the Labor & Delivery tours and birthing classes, I felt like a foreigner. I felt like I wasn’t doing enough and I was missing out on a whole array of things. When I did go to Labor & Delivery to deliver my daughter, I just did everything that was asked of me. I was breathing when I needed to, push when I had to, and filled out paperwork galore.

With this second pregnancy, I made sure I made my reservations for the tour ahead of time. My husband and I attended the informational tour yesterday. The OB nurse who was giving the tour went through everything that you would need to know from the time you go into labor to the time you get discharged from the hospital. She went into great details about when to come to the hospital, what to bring, visiting hours, etc…I found it to be very informative, but nothing I couldn’t learn on my own. My husband was falling asleep, which highly irritated me, but I completely understood why. We already had gone through the process before and it wasn’t anything new, except a couple things because it was a different hospital. There were a lot of new parents and very few second time around parents.

One thing I learned from the tour, was when to go into the hospital, to be admitted for delivery:

For first time mothers: Strong 90 second contractions every 5 minutes for 2 hours. (You time from the end of the first, to the start of the next).

Second time mothers: Strong 90 second contractions every 5 minutes for 1 hour. (You need to be about 4cm dilated to be admitted or they will send you home)

If your water breaks, come in immediately, you will be admitted.

Personally, I feel that the Labor & Delivery tours are great for new parents-to-be. For me, it was just interesting to see where I would be delivering and where I would be recovering. I liked reviewing information that I already knew and also hearing questions asked by other mothers and fathers. It was also great to see the staff at hand and how personable they were. If you have any questions about labor and delivery, I would highly suggest going on the tour.

Today, I went into my midwife for my monthly checkup, which will turn into bi-monthly checkups starting next month. I sat there and she asked me if I had any questions for her, and to my amazement I had no questions. This is not the norm for me because I always have something going through my mind. She said okay and preceded to measure me and checked the baby’s heartbeat with the fetal doppler. After that, I did have one question. I told her that I noticed my pelvic floor, as they call it, had a lot of pressure when I stood for long periods of time. It’s such an awkward feeling because you have the sensation the baby’s about to fall out. She said it was normal and with second time pregnancies, mothers usually feel it more. That’s was a big relief.

My midwife then asked me, “Are you thinking of taking a birthing class of some sort or are you planning on reading up on it?” For some reason, I had to take a minute and really think. Am I going to take a birthing class? I took multiple pauses and told her that I never really thought about it because I never took any classes with my first child.

My first pregnancy went by so fast that I never sat down and thought about any prenatal/birthing classes. I went into the hospital and just followed simple instructions, “breathe,” “push,” etc. After 4 or 5 pushes, my daughter was out.

When my midwife asked me this question, I literally felt that maybe I was a little behind the curve. Maybe, every expectant parent did go to labor class to learn breathing techniques or other birthing tips. Maybe, I was the only one that was out of the loop. So needless to say, I will probably read up on birthing techniques/styles etc., and decide if I really need to go to a class. Personally, I would rather go to a prenatal yoga class, once my daughter attends her full-time preschool. We will see!